do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
