She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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