Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
