Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize