Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
