I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Randomize
