So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is my gift to your gina
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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