Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
