He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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