Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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