Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
