dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
