I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
