How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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