Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
