i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
