Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
