were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
