He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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