"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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