Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
