Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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