I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
