goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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