either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
