he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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