i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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