Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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