your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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