Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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