I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize