have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
