You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
