I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
