In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
