what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
