Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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