There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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