I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
