She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
