Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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