Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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