This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i think my mom watched the whole time
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
