The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
