I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
