i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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