I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
