Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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