haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
