I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
