Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
