the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
