the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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