A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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