Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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