He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
