if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
