Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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