It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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