May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
