is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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