I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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