what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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